Forgotten

I have forgotten how it feels to be on the ground,bleeding and wanting more oxygen to flow through my lungs I can't tell you how it feels to have a longing for a better life because I have learnt to accept myself as I am,I have accepted that some battles will kill my soul before the war is even finished,so I have forgotten,and I no longer dwell on the what ifs and hoping and praying that circumstances were different I have not given up but I have saved myself from my own demons,the ones that tell me that I am not worthy to be loved when I am already on my knees,I have forgotten about the medication,the therapy.The endless talking that merely reminds me once again that I have a demon that is sitting on my shoulders waiting for me to attempt to walk on water so that it can bring my feet to the bottom of the shore and it will continue to make its way to my head as I watch as my life flashes before me,and once again it tells me that I deserve to be unhappy,that I am toxic,that I am a failure that I am weak So I have forgotten I have forgotten how to listen to my demons even when they are sitting silently on my shoulders I have forgotten how to give in to the pain and the lie that I am weak and that I am not worthy.