Forgiving You

At first I called you Mama, then Mummy and then Mum I lay awake at night Wondering how long you will be gone I stayed inside myself, a lot of the time I longed for your love I just wanted to call you mine There was another love you had, that meant more then me I couldn't understand at all How could you let this be As I got older, you stayed away more and more I shy away from people Mummy it's you I adore When you did stop by to see me, you were always in a hurry For whatever I did wrong to you Mummy I'm so sorry I grow quieter and quieter, with each and every day For all I feel is shame inside Who would like me anyway Then one day you came to me, you looked so very sad You said you had to go away What is it, did I make you mad You said away for business, is where you had to go My little heart broke again A pain so well I know Then Nana told me, you were close by And that you wanted to see me Why did you have to lie We got into the car and drove, your lying had me low You grabbed me and squeezed so tight And said you love me so At first I held back, as I wasn't sure Another abandonment from you My heart could take no more When I looked into your eyes and you said my name I could tell by your sadness Your heart was also full of shame You held my hand gently, and spoke to me with grace About how deeply sorry you are And then you held my face You told me your distraction, had been alcohol and more That is was all an evil love It was me you adored I sat there and listened, trying to understand How could an evil liquid Be the one that had your hand I want to love you Mummy, trust from the bottom of my heart But it will take a lot of work We'll have to go back to the start I'm going to pray every night, when I am in bed That you won't leave me again And meant what you said That we spend time together, that's whole and genuine For Mummy the only truth in life I am your only son I am but a little boy, who needs his Mummy near So I can believe in you again And chase away my fear Let me know you see me, for what I really am I am your blood a part of you Show you give a damn So I can rest my little head, and contently sleep My broken heart mending I finally won't have to weep I look to our future, you and I so strong And slowly it will fade away All the things that you did wrong