Forgive and Forget?

It seems to be just part of life to hold on to pieces of the past. Try to forget the bad ones, make the good ones last and last. Don‘t “they” always say, it’s always best,.. just to forgive and forget? Forgiving is the easy part, but I haven’t forgotten it yet. There were no weekend outings with you , on bright sunny days in the snow. Instead, there was yelling and beatings, when every Friday night you both had to go,.... Out to the bars, all happy and giggling, and always dressed to the nines. To the innocent bystander, “ the happy couple“. Everything in your life was fine. Then, only God knows, how many drinks later, you turned into the monsters I knew. You could’ve won the prize for “The World’s Greatest Hater”. This child didn’t know what to do. I closed my eyes and covered my ears, to hide from the mean things you did and said. No child should’ve had to go through this, while lying awake in her bed. The things you said to each other, was the part I’ll never forget. The hate boiling deep down inside of you,... Oh, what an example you set.. The blackened eyes and bruises...you two were quite a sight. You tried so hard to cover it up, but everyone knew you had been in a fight. Then somehow during each week, a “miraculous” healing took place. You spoke to each other as if nothing had happened. The bruises were gone from your face. Then Friday always came once again. As I left for school I smelled booze on your breath. I knew it would be another long weekend. Sometimes I feared this would end up in death. I finally got out of this bad situation and moved in with one of my friends. I worried so much about you both. I prayed the fighting would end. It finally did end, when no one could find Mom. She’d gone off alone to drink away the pain. We found her 3 days later, so drunk, she couldn’t even remember her name. I guess my prayers were finally answered, as she laid in that hospital bed. I’ll never forget the pain in her eyes, and the look on her face when she said,... “I’m so sorry, my child, for all of the horrible things in life, you’ve had to see. I only hope that deep down inside, you’ll someday, find a way to forgive me.” The years got better, those long weekends stopped, but those words, she took to her grave. And I only hope she knew in her heart, when she asked, that I forgave her, that very same day.