For William Watt (Brother Sonny)

William, I in your scholars footsteps went Across the seas of the white continent To seek the demon that your bright soul bent Away from self, harbor of home, government Of mind. I saw the citadels, abroad Their light, and the mesmerized world flowing Like pilgrims starved, yet all searches outward They clustered history, gently bowing. What would a boy who danced the streets for dimes Seek here? What would a child made penitent To arbitrary laws claim from discontent With native shore, in matter's logic climes? Too hard the cathedral floor, I wouldn't kneel Too cold the shrine here for a tropic faith Dust clogged my eyes, I needed just to feel Something that from your shoulders moved some weight. This shrine lengthend your name with letters, and spelled Your dreams downward, excavating past things And the science of fire, you needed wings To flee the cauldron of desire. I yelled Against the emptiness, the barren white I yelled in loneliness, too soon you left My soul alone to voyage the cold night Too soon my mother hums with the bereft From Harvard to Delhi, and Cambridge back How clean the wind sweeps the sand, Sweden too Already has forgotten, fled like dew Your presence now, and the desolate track Feign innocense of the foul deed, my tears Fall again, William, my brother, brave I tried, but not climb wisdom's broken stairs My love is haunted by your silent grave.