For My Grandfather

For my grandfather. I can see you sometimes though you are not here I see your smile that day when I was nine and you told a dirty joke to a passing stranger while we went for a walk. I did not understand the joke but you smiled and the stranger laughed so I laughed too and I have never forgotten that smile Some days I wish I could see it I mean really see it not that my minds eye doesn't do a good job I just know that if I could see it really see it that means I could reach my arms around you and feel your stubble against my cheek It would be a long hug and there would be tears and then I am sure you would quickly turn them to laughter but I cannot wrap my arms around you I cannot feel your stubble against my cheek all I can do is remember remember your smile remember your jokes remember you in your old jeans and older t-shirt swinging on the back swing or dozing in the living room with your head back and mouth open Sometimes I look at your chair at the dinner table and imagine you in it and you look back at me with that look you always had that said I love you I care about you I am proud of you and then you fade and someone else here with us in this life takes your place can anyone take your place? can anyone fill your old black loafers? I suppose not but they can at least sit in your chair and we can all remember