For Me

Letting go never makes it easier, And with hope confusion only builds I opened my heart and I'm too terrified to let it close My walls took so long to fall My mind tells me to rebuild and start new A impenetrable wall must be made, just to not let this world put me in my grave But my heart loved and was free Love you found me just to remind me of everything I will never be? The words circle in my head, It's just not there anymore I felt my soul as it tore God, haven't I lost enough? Hasn't this world taught me not to trust for too long The feeling of knowing it'll never be the same won't be shaken How could I be so blind, to think I could change your mind But when my world falls down, I swear I'll run Yet I stand still like my heart is holding a load gun I swore I would never let you go, But like a childhood dream I thought if I wanted it, then it would be All I wanted was for you to love me The fairy tails I read, lied to me, They swore that love was all you would need The darkness rolled into my happy land As I realize I really did loose my man And I hold on to the hope that I hate like it'll save me from my desolate fate Just let this be, and we will see But with all my pain and all my loss I feel my love drift away And like countless times before everyone leaves and they don't know why My tears consume me, and I hate myself for believing in love My anger kept me alive, and you stripped that away so I knew that you were the one that would stay So now I am left in no man's land Not knowing to let go, But praying and begging you will come save me I can't make you love me again, But as you walked away I realize that there wasn't a single day I thought you wouldn't be with me I thought I knew heart break I thought I could handle pain But through this I see, That I was a broken me You put me together, you raised me higher then I've ever been And the fall from there has been my worse I know I'm a shell of me, because you showed me how to be free So if hope dies, Even through my relentless tries I will never love again, I can't take proving my father right, I can't take this pain It took true happiness to understand true pain And if I make it through this still sane I'll never do this to myself again, For this is the worlds biggest sin, To watch someone walk away that was the only one you let in