For Love 19

i said goodbye to u i locked all of the memories away with the others i gave in to the emptiness and i was completely incomplete 6 days and i thought i was safe and then u came right back let me beg and plead to keep u here even without ur love u are the only one who could bring me here take me by the hand and lead me with spoken good intention and then leave me desolate at the end of ur road just staring thru the tears as u go away again and i should just prepare myself for the days ahead when i know u have gone away, and i am not in ur eyes anymore and i remember why im here and why u need me when u do i am only the skin that holds this ruined heart i am only the eyes that u forget cry for u i am only the body that turns u on i am only the want and desire of ur selfish ways winter is on its way again and it will be short days and long nights cold and alone, curled up here alone and always waiting for u. maybe sleeping u away was the best thing i ever did and i dreamed u back into existence and here i am stuck in love and being ur whore just like ive been since the first man looked my way. ill just sit here thru the months and try to remain empty without expectations, without feelings of my own and when u come to me, on rare nights when u need a release ill put the smile on my face and the sparkle in my eyes the whole time ill be hoping... to get ur love back to earn ur hearts attention and have u all alone. i was once an irreplaceable love, the only thing u needed and we would watch the other sleep and be amazed in the morning and time was never an issue, and life was a possibility and u said that there was nothing that would keep u away... well im no longer ur little jewel, am i? i am no longer the goddess, the woman of ur dreams... i am the mistake that u cant get rid of, the girl u dont need anymore and i am the girl u keep hurting with ur ways. i dont know what to do with this anymore i wish i could hate u too, and i wish i had also given up the fight for us but my heart and head are still all absorbed by u and u will never ever know. u are still the man i love forever u are still the one i want for life the only one who touches me its all just a memory, but one i cant delete and i would still fight this war alone if it werent killing me every battle but the love will never die and u will never ever know.