For Collin

I can see him in you, you know that might be the scariest thing Even your voice is his and I could listen for days I'd tell you all about him the stride from the mound the shot from the top of the key even the fights and the drunken nights we spent by stove light talking about things that broke me down when he went to sleep He lived with his demons the same way I fear you'll live with yours I can see him in you, you know it's something that still strikes me even your smile is his and I could watch it for days I'd tell you about his fights the bloody knuckles and the women oh god the women we sped in fast cars down slow roads headed head first straight to hell and at his service I stood awaiting the end I had said goodbye to him long before then the timing was only pedestrian he was gone long before his pulse I'd be a better person if I admitted I can't talk to you like a man I'm stuck between being thirteen and being thirty I hope someday we can sit around a fire and talk like adults I want to know you but I'm failing just like he did and for that I'm sorry but I can see him in you, you know and sometimes it's too much to bare I'll P.S this with saying that my brother was 10 years older than I was, he passed away when he was 23, I was 13. He had two children. Collin, whom I never knew existed until early last year is 17 now. This was kind of brought on by the fact I don't see him very much, if at all and I was feeling really bad about being a crappy uncle. lol