Fleeting Moment

A fleeting moment I possess I tend to obsess condense my sight to the obvious sightings I'm beyond inferior to proposals and promise of wedding bells unable to compete with the reigning smiles and the incoming wave of tiny giants opening their wide eyes in surprise to this big world Here I stand, a Martian on Earthly soil trying to find my way my haven from suburbia can't recognize me even after I turned the clock back four years judge me by appearance and I seem 16 but back at 16 I was pushing 20 on an island of my own design now 20 I float back on a raft of 16 to the main land a stranger, a minuscule insect dodging sharks and vultures rooting for my demise attempting to befriend creatures who don't mind my presence trying as hard as I can to gain what I lost but what I lost I can't gain and maybe that's just my own problem maybe it's that, in that which lies the problem so I throw away the rough draft a piece of paper in my hands to start from scratch build from love and work my away to the outer circles reconstruct an inner circle reconstruct my colosseum of happiness starting with the slightest infatuation though when I see these faces I could be enamored with they belong to another or I only write them off as fleeting moments in starry eyes each a beautiful future, a new map to chart deny myself passage since I don't know where to start so adrift on open ocean I stay, a navigator lost Truth is I found a queen of hearts a queen of my heart yet she's the Juliet to my Macbeth she's a Juliet destined for someone else since her social standing and heritage forbids her from adorning my side though her love for me never wavers so I am the thorn in her ancestors cause I don't care what tradition is I just want the one I am in love with the one I see fit to be held in swift meaning of succession but distance remains deflection so I pursue a local enthusiast who shares my enthusiasm to cease the abundant loneliness in the air but luck isn't mine I am Hamlet, a three starred masterpiece awaiting for someone to pick me up and read me still I remain untouched and bitter without an idea to make true so I fall adrift to sleep broken and bent a canvas waiting, an island now In a list of wishes, the one I always repeat I just want to be happy but time has pulled irony upon me At 16, I gave anything to be, well, this I'm 20 now, wishing to be anything but this yet the goal back then was the same now Mother Aphrodite, mother superior, please just help me find my love Father, Calamity, please shield me from the constant storms and give me peace I just want to be happy, happy not an island now doomed to sink to the bottom of the abyss Mother Aphrodite please don't let me...