Flashback

I used to dwell on the past I had no clue How lucky I was How lucky I am Always a victim I played the role well Falling into traps Situations I couldn't get out of Putting myself in comprimizing places I hated my self I thought it was all my fault Then I woke up I saw what I was doing to me I realized that I could get better I could take back control I could be a survivor I could be happy Finally So I with many hours of therapy And a lot of work I put it all behind me I moved on Even got married To the man of my dreams I thought it was over and then In an instant there was a trigger And a new memory Popped up Flashback To my yesterdays I was just a girl A child Forced to witness something so ugly I don't quite know what I feel the pain, fear My heart pounding rapidly Yet the images are scarce and I don't think they are in order I am trying hard to piece together This fragmented memory If only it would all come at once So I could get it over Move on again Beyond the Flashback My eyes may not see it clearly My mind is a little weary But I know in my heart That I will survive I am strong And while for now I may feel some pain I may be frightened terrified And even a little ashamed No rhyme or reason Yet it is how I feel So I will say it again To myself more than anyone else I will survive It's just a Flashback My eyes begin to water The tears are spilling over It is starting to come together I see the child I used to be And in my mind I put myself there To comfort the little girl I used to be To pull myself through Find the light In the darkness of my mind I have survived I am pulling through I will be stronger Because I am a fighter And the Flashback It is over By: Jean Shular