Festus

He wore a floppy, chewed-up hat And he came to replace Chester, Who limped off to a better deal And then let sad feelings fester. On Gunsmoke they called him Festus, But his real name was Ken Curtis— At first no one knew what to think, Because Chester’s leaving hurt us. His talk was high and real scratchy And he spoke with a mountain twang— Of course it was just put on thick, For we all knew that he once sang. Seemed like he needed a close shave, His whiskers were mangy and wild— He screwed up his face like Popeye— It was hard to tell if he smiled. It just seemed that he was cranky— Most times had loud words with old Doc— Out of fun they always quarreled— Guess we thought that they’d never stop. There was Marshal Dillon, Newly, Sam the barkeep and Miss Kitty— And those jingling spurs of Festus, Long silent now – it’s such a pity. Doc, Kitty and Sam are gone, too, And Gunsmoke is long off the air— Didn’t know how good Festus was, Till we looked around and he wasn’t there.