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Below is the poem entitled Fear which was written by poet Grace EunSong Lee. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The glass walls caved in with a roar
a yellow storm that broke the faulty veins that had been
up till now
And I, clutching a rag of paper in guilty hands 
curled up at the end of a dilapidated wooden bench 
at last doing what I should have my whole life – 
Late, once again, on the one day lateness is not excused.

I have always imagined the world ending 
with a shattering of stained glass 
we had painted to portray the thing we called beauty, and
that had shined vulgar colors on us for millions of lives;
a jolt of awakening from some nightmare into 
something that cannot be as easily defined, 
for in all minds it is a different message;
a violent wrenching open of the hidden crack of light
in an atlas that had seemed impenetrable, endless – 
but the entire time had merely been an idiot’s doodle.

In that moment
whether it be in a dream like this or in some 
mad state of visioning
the feeling cannot be snipped and trimmed 
and stuffed into a four-letter word,
for it defies all language and
pulls the strings hanging from mind and soul and stomach
pulls them and plays a cat's cradle game with them
and leaves the limbs wild and dancing
with the silliness of a drunk man’s misery.

And yet all fell back into order when I opened my eyes
from a dream that had the power to awake, 
and glanced at the rotting walls.
There seemed to be tremendous joy written in them, for
I saw at last their stains were of glass.

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  1. Date: 7/23/2010 10:10:00 PM
    Hello Grace. Very intriguing poem. I like the expressions. You might want to pare down the adjectives and adverbs a bit more, though, to make the imagery more powerful. Also, "snipped" and "trimmed" seem the same to me, how about choosing only one of the two? "from a dream that had the power to (awake) [wake]" ()=omit, []=insert. Enjoyed your poem. Hope these comments helped.

  1. Date: 7/20/2010 2:54:00 AM
    Congratulations on your win in John's contest, Grace. Incredible free verse. Love, Lainie

  1. Date: 7/19/2010 7:01:00 AM
    Congratulations Grace on your well deserved win in John Heck's contest "Edge". Love, Carol

  1. Date: 7/17/2010 6:10:00 PM
    Wow! This poem is superb! The imagery is both startling and strong in its premise. Like a paradox that is both filled with ambiguity and clarity all at once~Chris

  1. Date: 7/16/2010 7:41:00 PM
    Metaphorically awesome! Congrats on your big win Grace.

  1. Date: 7/16/2010 2:50:00 PM
    Congrats Grace on your winning poem in John's Edge contest with this marvelous creation.. enjoy your victory.. with luv..

  1. Date: 7/16/2010 2:37:00 PM
    Goodness too many immensely powerful lines to count, a real purge! horribly wonderful!!! Light & Love

  1. Date: 6/26/2010 4:17:00 AM
    Interesting metaphoric language that you have used in this one that is very descriptive and expressive...Keep the creative pen flowing,.Sara