Fartasia

Once upon an outhouse dreary, while I strained there, lank and leery of creatures scary down beneath the privy floor-- As my veins were close to popping, suddenly there came a whopping rush of air, but nothing dropping, dropping from my nethers sore, “'Tis but a sputter", I then mutter, “popping like the thunder's roar-- only this and nothing more!” Ah, succinctly I remember - a distinctly warm September; for bath tissue I dismember - an issue from the hardware store. Eagerly I wish for passing - that which had been amassing in my numbles far surpassing - any grumbles heretofore A gassing foul and shameless to deplore Nameless here for evermore Then, methought the air grew smelly, perfumed from my askew belly The fumes of fish stew from the deli, like the breath of Balthazor “Wretch,” I cried, “as God hath bent me—by what devils hath he sent thee? Respite – respite! No more! Some forthright output, I implore! Purge, oh purge this burning urge I'm yearning for!” Shall I potty... Nevermore? With apologies to EAP.