Falling From Grace

I wrote this 7 years ago, decided to post and add to it. 15 year old me: Sitting out front, spitting like a boy Cigarette in her left hand Momma's just looking through the glass She wonders what happened.. To her Sweet little girl Saying her prayers Now she talks like a sailor Slinging her swears Her baby girl, who promised not to smoke Got her kicks, when you brought her a kit kat home Ohh, she's looking at me.. Trying to see her little girl. Because now I'm Locked up in my room Hollering a song But she bites her tongue Because she knows it won't be long.. Before I'm gone 22 year old me: In retrospect, for you, I have empathy But you're the reason I had hated everything Instead of growing together We only grew apart What had started as love only dissolved Into broken hearts. You can look at me, but you won't see Your "baby girl." You can call someone anything Say I am your daughter And that you loved me so But that doesn't mean a thing! When your actions never showed When you chose money and men, in the end And had the nerve to question My rebellion. It makes sense now, now That you're gone You left me behind And the one thing that's Left on my mind Oh, is how could you use to look out at me? When now all I am is a memory One you block out Because you know you mistreated me I was blind Wondering why But now I know It wasn't me, falling from grace It was you. Made me believe, oh you made it seem Like I was that one failing When you were the one failing me. I'm a mother now You have a granddaughter One that you will never know And my daughter will never feel No, she will never feel Like she is falling from grace I will hold her hand, she will know her place Is in my heart, forever and always I will give her love, give her space But at the same time, have a beautiful relationship The one I never had, a guiding hand Some reprimand, a friendly face To lead her to a promise land Full of positivity, no abuse Top priority, with no excuse I'm not writing this in spite It's a tribute To anyone Who's been left behind To say you can't rewind But you can Break the cycle You're never falling from grace Someday you will find your place I hope it leads you into open arms We are all shining stars We are all capable of love Don't let your past stop you From rising above! If it means anything To me, you are not falling from grace.