Explanation Long Overdue

I know it matters little, At this time, I am sure, But I've always felt, I owed you, A reason why, We did not endure... As I approach, The final destination, I've unfinished chores, I must amend, And I guess It's up to each Of us to tend... It may sound insane, In fact, I think it is... I was feeling too much in love, Something had to give... All I'm sure of, Is this, I do swear... It was never a question... Of if I did care... All I'm sure of, that is, Whoever followed me, The luck was his... I felt I was losing control, Felt jealous and insecure, Withdrew into a defensive caccoon, But there's even more... I knew I blew my chance With the most beautiful girl I ever had, One who shared my love, And to this day I'm sad... I did what I'm good at, I ran away and hid, My life was forever changed, The dumbest thing I ever did... I know it sounds insane, And I'm sure that this is true, But one thing I can swear, I never ever, Stopped loving you.