Expectations

I'm keeping you at arms length until Christmas season has passed Four days to go and I am covered in depression buried in quilts expectations go unmet bills go unpaid sorrow surfaces like a dolphin blue wet and shining, a quick jump to make your heart ache down again ugh people I dont want to see, or ever have dinner with I feel the nightmare of hands grabbing at my time I want to be alone to savor days and hours with those of special choosing I want to be without obligation I dont want to share my stories and I dont want to hear yours you are of no interest to me and you dont know me although my association we are considered family but really not. Family is in the eyes of my beloved, and our children.