Every Husband's Thorny Problem

I suppose every husband faces this problem – or dilemma – what to give his wife for her anniversary. And it worsens with every passing year when the choices are the same old standbys. And I think: She must be tired of a box of drugstore chocolates. (God knows, I am; I end up eating most of them, anyway!) As for jewelry, she has expensive tastes and enough already for two more lives. Red roses are traditional, of course, but not very original, short-lived and expensive. Then, too, there’s dinner at the same restaurant (her stale suggestion) for the last thirty years, though she always smiles when she spots the delapidated sign –“Mama’s Cucina.” Besides, we never have Veal Oskar or Osso Bucco at the house, anyway. Still, a change of menu and atmosphere without the smell of garlic or parmesan or the fading and peeling Venetian scenes would be a refreshing change. With less than a week before the big day, I still have no idea what to buy her. Think I’ll play sick this year and spare my feet tedious hours at the malls, the drugstores, the flower shops, and the local package stores, not to mention sparing my eyes searching for a nonItalian restaurant in the white pages of a telephone directory while relieving nature sitting in a stall in the men’s room at the office.