Escaping Depression

Where is the light in this dark world? I can't find it. Is the trench I've dug really that deep? So deep that I can't get out? My hands are torn from climbing these walls My wrists bloodied from stress My eyes are red from the tears Will I ever get to the top? You are there Waiting for me. Your hand is stretched out, Waiting for me to accept it. But this hole is too deep; My arms cannot reach. If only I could - I long for your touch. I'll keep trying, But only for you. The darkness is my friend, But I just can't do this anymore. You hate the way I hurt myself, The way I cut my wrist To bleed out the pain And unleash the tears. So I'll keep going. I hate to see you like this. My ways are torturing you, Adding to your stress. I will reach for these ledges And pull myself up. I will keep climbing Until your hand is in mine. Then you'll pull me up And hold me close - Washing away all the dirt; Chasing away the lingering darkness. But I can never let it all go, It's just not possible. This darkness is the source of my pain, But it is also who I am. If I were to let it go, I would no longer be me. I'd be nobody - A whole different person. Not the one you know. Then what would you think? Would you still love me? Or would you push me back into that hole So that I can be myself again? So I'll keep a little bit of darkness in a jar And let it out when I need it most. That way I can be myself And yet be light once more. So help me out of here. I'm halfway up already. I may still have a mile to go, but I'm trying. I really am. I'll be with you soon, so why are you climbing down? I don't want you to feel my pain. I don't want you to go through this. Why did you let go? Why did you fall? Now you're farther down than me, And I'm the one with my hand out. But now you understand how I am. Now you've felt my pain. But please don't kill yourself, Like I've tried to do. The pain doesn't leave It just gets worse. You're stronger than me, You can get out. So climb, You'll reach the top first. I'll be there when I can. We'll be together in light. I love you, So please go. Leave me in the dark, and return to the light So you can help me out of here And we can be together happily - Not brought together by pain. I'm sorry to have hurt you so. I'm sorry you've fallen. I will help, But we have to do this together.