Escape

Pizza boxes line the floor and litter my recent calls, I don’t know the time of day or the last time I ventured outdoors. Lost in my own worthless abyss, drowning in my thoughts, Look at this mess you’ve caused. I’ve watched so much TV that my eyes literally feel square, So detached from reality, I question if I truly care. I haven’t brushed my teeth for a week or so much as styled my hair, Instead I’ve sat cursing God for ignoring my prayers. I look at my ‘friends’ and try to broach the subject, knowing this effort’s in vain. I talk from the depths of my heart, uttering unspoken truths, revealing the weight of my pain. And I look to their faces, try to fix their gaze, but I know they have nothing to say. So I wallow in self pity, shutting out the world, resisting the urge to escape. I reach to you in desperation, in a plea for an alternative resolution. The nastiness I provoke plunges me deeper in confusion: You tell me to get on with my life, that my love is a delusion. I no longer know what I’m doing. I take an open-top bus ride around the place I call home And don’t even recognise the ‘places of interest’ I’m shown. I’m oblivious to the tour guide and his incessant drone – I spend my journey looking expectantly at my phone. Burdened by the weight, of the misdemeanours and mistakes That took me to this place, through a pointless, perpetual chase; Engulfed by the bitter taste, of the agony I must embrace, I spread my wings wide and escape.