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Epitaph-Unraveled Words

trickling streams enlist fingers stroke translating silent stares script air bubbles soul skirmishes dying and breath twitches her amort jabs shatter blind eyes soft breaths linger aphonic sighs surfboarding alongside rocky creeks you wish to decry me with metaphors whispered secrets shared solely betwixt us words untied weighed by fireflies glow bemoaning to aurify amid fiery solar flares hoping for air in a pathless stream let me shed words from balm of dry lips you said that you might catch them I've seen the way a glass dances, though slips through your fingers and shatters I hear a forlorn violin pluck its strings catacombs lurk in a hollow cage when it beleaguers, it wails and shrieks an uncaged spirit walks with a dog left, just a beshrew echo in a silent world

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Sara Kendrick

Date: 5/13/2024 2:50:00 PM

Interesting winner. Congratulations. Sara K

Mark Massey

Date: 5/12/2024 6:10:00 AM

This is an excellent display of metaphors and personification, making this a captivating piece...your writing talent and verbal skills are in perfect sync here.

Silent One

Date: 5/8/2024 1:18:00 PM

The poem's use of metaphor and symbolism adds layers of meaning, with "metaphors whispered secrets" and "words untied weighed by fireflies glow" suggesting a yearning for connection and understanding. The imagery of "hoping for air in a pathless stream" and "shedding words from balm of dry lips" conveys a sense of desperation and longing for release. The final lines of the poem, with their imagery of a "forlorn violin" and "uncaged spirit," evoke a haunting sense of loneliness and isolation. The use of sound and rhythm throughout the poem adds to its emotional impact, creating a sense of tension and resonance that lingers in the reader's mind.

Ink Empress

Date: 5/8/2024 9:14:00 AM

Wow this is so good! I love your wordplay and also how you’ve written so many lines in this really stood out for me! Especially “ words untied weighed by fireflies glow” so creative and artistic! “I hear a forlorn violin pluck its strings catacombs lurk in a hollow cage ” as i read those lines i can hear too the forlorn violin and the music so evocative! And poignant plus powerful while also ensuring you maintain your usual use of poetic techniques that leaves us readers in awe! Love this!

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 5/8/2024 8:16:00 AM

I feel a sense of desolation, maybe even a sci-fi planet that struggles. Pertinent to our times and to care of mother earth. I enjoy this very creative poem.

Vijay Pandit

Date: 5/8/2024 5:56:00 AM

Wonderfully dwelling in thoughts released from a poetic mind, my friend. Superb images throughout. ---soft breaths linger aphonic sighs surfboarding alongside rocky creeks---words untied weighed by fireflies glow bemoaning to aurify amid fiery solar flares--so very lovely!

Duke Beaufort

Date: 5/8/2024 5:34:00 AM

SP, this poem seems like Side B (the opposite side) of what you presented in your previous post with the music Ode to Joy. It's a very interesting read on a situation where someone doesn't seem to be listening very well. That seems like a bit of a frustrating situation you capture so adroitly.

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 5/7/2024 4:02:00 PM

dear Sotto-Your poem was striking in that it was softly 'surreal.' In its uniqueness you created an eeriness that gave me pause. These lines spoke of betrayal (you wish to decry me with metaphors whispered secrets shared solely betwixt us) I suppose I felt hints of sadness as I read your poem--a beshrew in a silent world. Wishing you a pleasant evening, your poetess friend in Texas, Sara

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 5/7/2024 2:32:00 PM

I enjoyed this atmospheric write. It has a haunting feeling to it.