Ending the War Pt1

Aspirations, goals, dreams. These are things that drive people. They invoke hope in peoples hearts Everyone has desires, wishes. And by holding people on to dreams & ideals of happy endings, are able to fight battles & trials they never thought they could. They take steps forward until they attain the success they worked for other people are offered growth.) and progress in return for tenacity. They gain pices to the puzzle that gives them their purpose, and that paints their dreams into reality. Me? I fight. I've fought. I've taken on and faced battles, wars, that I knew I'd need help fighting. But despite my efforts to plead with others, or to express my fears and needs, I always end up facing the army of demons inside me all alone. Over time I've learned alot. And one of the biggest things I've learned is that I will always face the monsters alone. Despite the promises of support of Safety. I always find myself standing alone When the war is at its worst. I had to Start fighting when I was as a child. I was terrified of the monsters. But I had dreams & goals to attain. I had the drive escape the war. To learn from my battle Wounds. To prove them wrong. To achieve happiness in so many ways. I'm 26 now. I am battered, broken, and exhausted. Because I've been fighting the same monsters, the same demons, for nearly 3 decades now. During this war I've been distracted & deceived. I've tried claiming happiness that's been dangled in front of me; thinking it would help motivate me to keep fighting & chasing the dreams Ive held close since I was small. The dreams I've desperately battled for, and that I've lied to myself about. But each time I think that the possession of happiness is mine, and I start to accept it as TRULY mine, I am stripped raw. I'm skinned of any shred of hope I fought for. Left to fight the war alone, with nothing but my fists. And despite my efforts to defend myself against the monsters, I am inevitably beaten to nothing each time; while trying to mend the wound left from my happiness being severed from my soul. Me? I'm tired. I've been fighting the same demons my whole life; and I've done it by myself. But what's crazy to me, is that every time I'm ready to just let them consume what's left of me...