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Dying young

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Below is the poem entitled Dying young which was written by poet Asiphe Tomeli. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Dying young

They say sticks and stones may break my bones but I 
came face to face with a wall today.
I keep on searching but I'm lost
I keep on climbing but I'm falling
I'm walking but your pulling me back
Haven't you had enough of the scars that I already have
I'm shouting with no voice 
I'm crying but the well within is dried up
Gravity keeps on pulling me back
Katrina keeps on coming back

Its dark where can I find the light
I'm chained,  trapped, binned-ed by this chains
I can't breath your suffocating me
I can't sleep your controlling my life
I'm shouting and kicking but your laughing
Im torn apart and bleeding
You see the the beauty on the outside but I'm dying 

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  1. Date: 5/9/2013 10:21:00 AM
    Congrats on your great win... Impressive~A.O

  1. Date: 5/7/2013 3:57:00 PM
    A well-written piece, Asiphe. I especially like your ending. Well done on your well-deserved placement, my friend. :)

  1. Date: 5/6/2013 10:58:00 PM
    A big congrats on your top win. XX

  1. Date: 5/6/2013 8:50:00 PM
    This is really profound. I am faving it... Congratulations, SuZ

  1. Date: 5/6/2013 8:19:00 PM
    Asiphe, I love the way you brought on the Crazy. Congratulations!!! :-) .....xox..... LINDA

  1. Date: 5/6/2013 8:19:00 PM
    Congratulations on your super win xxx

  1. Date: 5/6/2013 8:09:00 PM
    Fantastic and a moving piece. Thanks for participating in my contest.

  1. Date: 5/6/2013 7:53:00 PM
    Deserving win...congratulations

  1. Date: 5/6/2013 7:52:00 PM
    Asiphe, i like your poem, CONGRATS <3 LUV ~*~SKAT

  1. Date: 4/19/2013 1:16:00 AM
    Life is full of ups and downs. Keep on climbing, Asiphe. The intensity of your poems conveys a fighting spirit. David