Dunderhead

So I drove the van down a walking trail, and slid into a ditch. The Officers with voices hale Began the walkers to regale With "Oh, no, he won't go to jail!" My van was tilt at such a pitch, We had to call a wrecker in! No doubt they thought it quite a stitch To think that I had scratched an itch And missed the road, preferred the ditch. But we backed the van back up the walking trail -- I have to ask, 'who was the snitch'? -- Who told the cops, all breathless, stale That I was blocking up the trail And underlined my epic fail! So, I've near reached the end of my tragic tale. I pity the fool who scratches an itch, And ends up half under an old hay-bale And causes old biddies and snitches to wail, ...NEVER drive down a walking trail!