Drowning

Drowning What is it about falling in love that makes us an emotional mess? Even those as innocent as a dove are too often put to the test. I was one who took that leap and made real the fantasy I bore. I fell in love, abysmally deep with a man I did long adore. I didn't fear the depth of my fall from the height of an amorous cliff. No. What frightened me most of all was living with wondering, "What if..." What if I'd never taken the chance to feel the warmth of his loving arms, or not knowing the rhythm of our dance? Wouldn't that have done me more harm? I lived with the joy of him, only in a blink, sailing through life in lighthearted days. Our ship sprung a leak and began to sink. Yet, with my captain, I decided to stay. I lingered, though often longed to give up, but my mutiny would've left him alone. His orders were cruelest when in his cups... more painful than the break of my bone. I lived in wait, while drowning in sorrow 'til I knew the time had come to jump ship. I kept thinking, I'll tell him tomorrow but those words remained frozen on my lips. I lived for months with the shallow hope that he'd become the man I used to know. I held on, one hand tethered to the rope I'd have to cut when at last I turned to go. He's in deep waters for I could not save the man I thought would be my destiny. I reached out to him, trying. to be brave, but he faltered and turned away from me. To keep from drowning, I swam ashore. There was nothing more I could do. My cries, louder than the ocean's roar, for a love once cherished, now gone askew. Trembling, I stood and as I walked away, I turned, searching each crested wave. I prayed he would surface again one day before he drank himself into the grave.