Droopy Drawers

Another true tom tale; Not too long ago I did really own A pair of Fruit of the Loom briefs, One detined to make me groan For sure, it had, Seen a better day, And up until this time I now surely wonder why I did not throw the damn thing away... See, I wore them under my sweatpants, Turned out I would have preferred To bear a nest of ants... Ever try walking With your shorts down to your knee? It's very much unpleasant And a sight to see... Your constantly grabbing At your groin, As if you were in pain, Or perhaps you seem One totally insane And you walk like You've stepped in a bear trap, Or maybe horsey-dung When I finally got home I'd see how far they could be flung But in the meantime, life was torture I felt like such a fool What was I thinking of? I sure did not look cool... I walked like a penguin, With antsy-antsy pants, Grabbing at my loin, At every possible chance... Stupid does as stupid is I'll never doubt that fact When I got home, I ordered up a stack Of brand new underwear And that was not all I ordered suspenders To wear underneath So my briefs don't fall!