Driving Silence

My car-ride silence is not judging you; maybe me, but certainly and more generously unconditionally not angry or shaming or blaming you for unpardonable sins against sainted me. With you in a powerless passenger seat and me in a self-punishing driver's need to alone defeat our unshared lonely demons darkly frightened and angry terrified silo trauma repeat repeat repeat Frozen in this mystical dark threatening night mile after agonizing coldly silent trauma mile. Self judgment for addictions to bright pleasure to glaring peace to sacred wombs remembering unavailable comfort and joy; and warmly quiet compassion listening, hopefully, for what you can not say gratefully yet today Until you are ready to speak your overflowing feelings, positive and negative, manic and depressive, conflicted in-between comically up and tragically down, cooperatively spiritual and competitively natural, warm mind wants and searing body needs both synergetic feelings and solidarity remembering Our diverse yet similar trauma narrative and therapeutic hopes and co-arising winner dreams for terrifying partnered glory. My silence is not cold, not condemning, but warmly curious To hear, and thereby hope to help heal silence solidly against side by side less shared synergetic struggles Together recalling mostly compassionate wars against past and present unhealthy addictions passions competing persuasions Reviewing fused empowerments and confused disempowerments, unconditionally warm and co-passionate enlightenments and calculating cold silent and severing secular endarkenments, retributive anger/fear competitions and restorative health/wealth cooperations Playing quiet conspiracy games of who can hold isolated voice longest and most sadly, and how we warmly hold our compassion circling choice more gladly For healthier peace and wealthier best Tragic Comedy Drama in a daily soak opera series Of critical trauma risks and therapeutic opportunities throughout this long bad day Driving not only lonely in a cold conspiracy of silence; but also with a warm compassion context for restoring and restorying nonverbal heart communion Reweaving what you once said or thought or hoped or feared that time heals all wounds Except incapacity to remember how we got them and how much they cost us The We that disappears within conflicted silent Me.