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Dreamscape

eyes opened wide I see fields and rolling hills through my morning dew drop this is my dreamscape walking through the fisheye lens a friend, a stranger smile of a Cheshire cat the kaleidoscope rains down a golden beach with that scorching, scorching sun exuberating its power lending it to my already open eyes... Or were they closed... seeing the beings in heat vision dancing about my temple watching my world respond in ancient tongue one that I stutter to repeat who could know this is my reality eyes closed

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




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Date: 8/28/2015 3:37:00 PM
Hi Taylor! I want to leave you an encouraging note about your poem. I don't think I communicated earlier how much I really enjoy this poem. It is so sonically pleasing. I love the phrase "through my morning dew drop" and the reference to kaleidoscope and fisheye vision. I think experimenting w/different lenses/perspectives is an excellent motif used here. Things I would change: "Watching" to "hearing"--also, "stutter to repeat" feels awkward. I love the lack of uppercase also. And I LOVE YOU!!!
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Book: Shattered Sighs