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Dream Chains

My sleep spun in and out I did dream without a doubt Someone claimed they knew my name while attaching me to a metal chain I was heavy could not move could not find an intelligent grove Then some fella vaporized heavy crystals in his eyes His yellow umbrella became my own I grabbed it tight Strange green loft took me to flight I left the ground soared on high till the chain froze me in unknown sky Floating clouds came and went still my fear was not spent Backward birds insisted I try until I woke agitated Rubbed my eyes and it all evaporated ... CayCay Jennings 9-2015

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Edlynn Nau

Date: 9/6/2015 2:29:00 PM

Cute idea! Like your fantasy ride floating through the air with you vehicle just a yellow daisy. Inventive fantasy, simple images in a few lines. NOTE: this is free verse in that the pattern is broken after the beginning and doesn't rhyme. My suggestion is to change genre from rhyme to free verse. It is just lovely and fun!

Edlynn Nau
Date: 9/17/2015 11:54:00 PM

Ha ha! Hope you had popcorn! Back to the great Valley Fire in CA. It's been truly Hell since 9/12/15. So many homeless people and singed or dead animals. There is not art where the art is to survive. Wonder when I'll write again €:-o

Caycay Jennings
Date: 9/17/2015 8:56:00 AM

Dear One - you have now entertained me more than the poem did ... CayCay

Edlynn Nau
Date: 9/7/2015 7:52:00 PM

PS I LOVE that this poem is in the shape of a chain...of course, we've established that I SEE (and read) a daisy chain; yours could be metal!

Edlynn Nau
Date: 9/7/2015 6:33:00 PM

"His yellow umbrella; Became my own; I grabbed it tight,Strange green loft; Took me to Flight; I left the ground; Soared on high; Till chain froze me;In unknown sky". HA! I DONT KNOW YOUR RIDE but this is a Daisy chain of little yellow umbrella's & I'm hanging on to a green stem & floating in the air. THERE IS a yellow daisy in your poems...you just didn't write the same poem I read!

Caycay Jennings
Date: 9/7/2015 10:45:00 AM

Hey, sweetheart - I'd like to thank you for your comments on the yellow daisy, but there isn't one in the poem. Laugh. I do thank you though, love your constructive feedback and I will revise the form (still working on that.) ... CayCay

James Inman

Date: 9/1/2015 11:04:00 AM

Lovely write CayCay. Open to so many interpretations.

Caycay Jennings
Date: 9/1/2015 11:35:00 AM

You spoke to me. You pushed the validate button. Inside I am jumping up and down ... Thank you, James