Don'T Get Mad Get Even

My God don't I have anything to offer to anybody can someone help will any one bother. I feel like I am nothing at all and I am mad at myself I can beat my self up that still doesn't help. Just problem after problem life seems so cruel and I am tired of not knowing what the hell to do. At times I think about what right for me, but its clearly a waste of time because all of the hopes I have every had was only in my mind. I feel so bad and my heart feels sad and the tears I cry now will fore ever last I guess that why I'm all ways mad. I have lost my spirit and deserted my soul just a wondering lost sheep with no where to go. I have lost my smile but gain a frown and my heart is weeping and breaking down. Why do we cry? Why do we smile? Why do we hate the things we no nothing about? Why dose love hurt? Why dose one kill? How dose hate find me and choose how I live. Is there a solution for a sheep who has lost his way or should he be punished for going astray.