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Disorientation

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Septrmber.30.2023
Pick a Title.Vol.39.Poetry Contest
Edward Ibeh

 

You have raided my night again, as the burst of a sudden storm, sneaking into my loneliness, at the most unexpected hour, plunging me into swirls of pain too deep for expression, leaving me in utter disorientation. I now drift aimless with muddled thoughts, through the dingy avenues of the past, never once able to sever the chord, that binds me so tight to those memoirs, exposing me to torrid heat with my soul, burning down…. like a piece of smouldering coal. Sleepless are my nights. Dreamless are my days. Like the sundown shadows growing bigger, with every stride I take, the farther I move, the closer you follow. Can I convince you ever again, I never meant any harm to you. How wearily have I watched the flies, lured by the dazzling light, char into diminutive specks of black, by the scorching tongues of flame. Still, why did I let you burn, in the flame of my accursed passion? You were like a flower admired from afar, afraid of even the gentle breeze coming near, lest it might jolt the delicate frame, and shake the petals down, sooner than due. Yet vulnerable turned the moment, when all of a sudden, it started to rain. Like a child, eager to play in the puddles, you ran out into the pouring rain. All soaked through and through, You came in…. awhile my gaze, rested on the filmy fabric, seductively clinging to your curves. Then, that wild surge…. beat me down. And Alas! Under a magnetic pull, surrendered your fragile self with ease. At that moment of self-abandonment looted off all that you held chaste. Never surmised, you were crying, when I felt your cheeks, so wet. Now I know, it was agony, not ecstasy that I, then, beheld on your sentient face! You refused to respond to my calls. Unanswered went all my anxious queries. Like a hibernating toad, to some dark underground cave, you slid. Abruptly, alerted on call, by an alien sound, far from familiar I hastened to the casualty ward, and saw you lying limp, with drops of blood, still dripping down from your slashed wrist, staring at me with an open mouth! As I watched you lying still with your eyes refusing to flutter, I knew my world tottering below, and my heart, set ablaze, into a funeral pyre.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023




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Date: 10/16/2023 12:41:00 PM
I knew this would be a winner..Congratulations on your placement in the contest.
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Date: 10/15/2023 9:58:00 AM
Valsa, as always, this is such a brilliant poem with excellent imagery throughout. Heartiest congratulations on your top win in my contest!
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George Avatar
Valsa George
Date: 10/15/2023 9:12:00 PM
Thank you so much Edward. So far it has been a steady source of joy taking part in your contests. Thanks a lot for the great placement given.
Date: 10/1/2023 1:27:00 AM
Whoa this is dark and deeply emotive! Left me feeling so much reading all these lined. Especially the dreamless days and sleepless nights, ah how heart wrenching is that! The way youv delivered these emotions is truly soul hitting! So poignant and profound! I felt it as i read “ you were just a flower to be admired from afar” i wrote a poem sometime ago “ some flowers are to be admire from afar” never posted it but seeing it here, made me feel so much like its a personal hit to my heart, i
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Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 10/1/2023 1:28:00 AM
Think many would resonate with this write too! And that ending is shocking and different! The way you’ve painted imagery and paired words and phrased lines is so creative! Definitely a top winner! Goodluck for the contest
Date: 9/30/2023 2:14:00 PM
Your poem intrigued me; your story pulled me in and I kept wondering, "what will happen?" for I sensed a dramatic, melancholy ending was coming. You made 'disorientation' come to life with your poignant words. Your poem was powerful, for I felt the pain and suffering. An outstanding creation. Faving it, Sara
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Date: 9/30/2023 8:17:00 AM
This piece really tugged at my heartstrings in the most melancholic way! Sigh..The emotions are extremely painstaking and heart wrenching here whilst your poetic lines describe the most poetic essence of aching feelings. Dearest poetess, from start to finish, this piece painted a gloomy ambience and one can actually feel the sombre depth of angst in your palpable words. When you never wanted anything bad, but was shaped in disorientation of destiny, finally losing the loved one. So heartbreaking
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Sharma  Avatar
Hiya Sharma
Date: 9/30/2023 8:19:00 AM
There are many lines that I love here especially "At that moment of self-abandonment looted off all that you held chaste", "I knew my world tottering below, and my heart, set ablaze, into a funeral pyre" That ending.. So profound and poignant. Best of luck for the contest, brilliant this is!
Date: 9/30/2023 7:30:00 AM
Your exploration of the word "disorientated" is incredibly thought-provoking, offering a multitude of poignant interpretations. Your adeptness in capturing the essence of disorientation is evident in your writing, as the palpable sense of anguish permeates every word. This piece evokes a profound sadness that is sure to resonate with a wide audience.
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Date: 9/30/2023 5:30:00 AM
Suffering is in my nature so I can relate with the emotions you evoke. Lively imagery as always. A splendid poem.
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Date: 9/30/2023 4:11:00 AM
i feel sadness, precious words for a lost soul, sometimes i think "nous sommes sur terre pour souffrir", we need help and hope. take care, the poem is beautiful
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Date: 9/30/2023 2:15:00 AM
You wrote for this theme really well, as I could feel the angst of disorientation in your words.. this is a really sad one and many will feel the same.. right from the start in your first verse, 'you have raided my night again,' I could feel the theme. My favourite verse is, 'You were like a flower admired from afar.' Really enjoyed this poem and a fave for me... I felt like this when my father died, to an extent..
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