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Disintegrate Discreetly

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DISINTEGRATE DISCREETLY I am swimming, see no land; The sea black darkened silence. The only sound my grappling hand In a tinted glass of violence. No fish no coast no one is there; Only me in icy stillness. I look around, can only stare In pitch black oily darkness. A naked fish, in water still; A helpless struggling creature. A drowning small one, only filled With lack of past or future A tiny fleck in waters vast, To disappear completely In vortex swirling far too fast; Disintegrate discreetly. *** N/A in contest: Premiere I - Open Date judged: December 27, 2016 2nd place in contest: Contest Form G or GIVE me an NA Sponsor: Broken Wings Date judged: February 7, 2017

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 2/26/2017 3:08:00 AM
I've read this about 30 times now - it's rich in how it conveys feelings of overwhelmed frustration that stand out against a rhyme scheme and meter that's dying to read in a happier place. Excellent
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Darren White
Date: 2/26/2017 5:52:00 AM
Shame about professional contests not rewarding rhyming poetry anymore though :(
Date: 2/11/2017 7:36:00 PM
Darren CONGRATULATIONS on your win in my contest with this wonderful poem ~
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Darren White
Date: 2/12/2017 2:24:00 AM
Thank you so much :) I am honoured
Date: 2/11/2017 12:08:00 PM
Deep like the ocean itself. Congratulations Darren! :-)
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Darren White
Date: 2/12/2017 2:24:00 AM
Mark, thank you :)
Date: 2/9/2017 6:53:00 PM
Oil spill? Spill some ink? I do feel the depths in which I swim here at PS. So much talent all concentrated in this sea. Congrats on your win.
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Darren White
Date: 2/10/2017 1:05:00 AM
Thank you so much :)
Date: 2/8/2017 1:26:00 PM
Lovely and sad. Congrats! 7
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Darren White
Date: 2/10/2017 1:05:00 AM
Thank you Kim!
Date: 2/8/2017 12:08:00 AM
This is great Darren. It's a winner for sure. Deep and meaningful metaphor. Congratulations.
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Darren White
Date: 2/8/2017 1:24:00 AM
Thank you so much, Janis :)
Date: 1/28/2017 8:18:00 PM
I came to read this one again, ummmm, there must be many a fine poet, alone and drowning in that dark dreary sea.
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Darren White
Date: 1/28/2017 11:23:00 PM
yeah, so many of us there, that sea is vast and filled with beautiful words
Date: 12/22/2016 8:18:00 PM
I hear you, I see you, I'll be always here for you... no matter how long you take to reach the land, I'll be swimming by your side... <3 you
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Darren White
Date: 12/23/2016 2:58:00 AM
Love you, my sweet friend :) <3
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Darren White
Date: 12/22/2016 11:50:00 PM
Thanks Claudia, for being there <3. Apart from the feelings it oozes, though.... This is a poem I am extremely proud of in terms of construction and imagery. As Arthur here below said. And that makes me fond of my dark poem.
Date: 12/21/2016 9:41:00 PM
I can just feel this, that my friend is true poetry!
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Darren White
Date: 12/21/2016 10:06:00 PM
Thank you for the compliment :)
Date: 12/21/2016 2:25:00 PM
I can feel you yelling without being heard...you are immersed in love all around.
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Darren White
Date: 12/21/2016 2:30:00 PM
Screaming, sort of yes....Thanks Tim
Date: 12/21/2016 1:22:00 PM
Yeah, man - the Ocean - it's always out there. Big, isn't it?
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Darren White
Date: 12/21/2016 2:13:00 PM
Especially since you don't know why I am there and where I come from.
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Doug Vinson
Date: 12/21/2016 2:03:00 PM
I love that picture, Darren. The sea in its immensity must strike fear in the hearts of legions. Your first line, "I am swimming, see no land;" has great essence in itself.
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Darren White
Date: 12/21/2016 1:23:00 PM
No matter how far you swim, you never get to see the coast.
Date: 12/21/2016 9:18:00 AM
It is easy to feel the loneliness and desperation in this piece. Very effective writing Darren.
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Darren White
Date: 12/21/2016 9:22:00 AM
Thanks, Chris. I am happy you can see that. It is exactly as you said.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things