Disclaimer: Freewrite

here i live day to day laughing everything off because, here's a secret: life isn't as big a deal as everyone makes it out to be. Attitude reflects everything we are, we've been, we've felt, we've had, we've seen, we've hurt... I am a girl with wants I misconstrue as needs, I've been blessed in ways I'll never deserve I've felt a sense of community in being alone I've had everything I thought was clarity turn out clearly wrong I've seen myself in your eyes [then wanted to gouge them out] I've hurt others, and wished it were me Sometimes I spend my time dreaming of another place where it always rains when I'm sad, but I never have to explain why-- Today I woke up before my alarm and lay in bed wondering of all the places I'll ever sleep, and all the people I'll wake up thinking about-- if God gave me a bulleted, chronological list would it still happen? Sometimes I think he's given me the list and I've already misplaced it in the neat mess I call my room- "I swear I know where everything is" may be true when I say it-- but nothing always applies, and right now I don't know the whereabouts of anything or anyone. The only thing I know is that nothing is as big a deal as we think it is, including this poem-- take it or leave it