Disarray of Thought

Chaotic peace, I describe it as what I need my personality conflicts with the balance of nature There is a clear dividing line between good and bad but I walk the very fine line lackadaisically because I consist of both Chaotic peace, the ironic poison keeping me breathing keeps my mind functioning at full capacity So what am I thinking now, how am I feeling I'm thinking of the harmonous song of love, love, love but in my current state of romantic soul searching fright concern for a friend seeps in and I pray her tears dry quickly and I pray someone erases those tears even if I'm not the one to do it I feel so small like I'm two inches tall I guess it's one of those days again where I don't matter at all I don't mind it today although my goal was to reach out and be outgoing this day, this week, this month, this year I'd gladly take my seat in the unknown section with my name engraved on it along with the many years I've spent if it's the best for me These feelings are indescribable, difficult to comprehend well at least I could speak of it yet I could write endlessly, effortlessly about a strange world I have no permanent knowledge of and now I can't help but question what life has in store for me what in my life is meant for me to pursue gratefully but I will cross the fateful bridge when I come to it when I'm lost on a soul searching walk into a distant frame of mind Chaotic peace...take away the chaos out of the equation and only an awkward silence remains among an unknown face Well what's left to say freedom is scarce now for rules has forbidden movement though the masses along with myself are reduced to wishing things could change How long...how long must we endure this torture How long...how long are we to be treated like crying infants Why not just fill the room with gas quietly putting us to sleep till the day is won