Dirty Dick's Funeral

Some things said at funerals are so surprising ’tis a wonder the deceased doesn't start rising. “He was the most honest of men,” one speaker did assert. But more than one listener to Dirty Dick had lost a shirt. “He always told the truth," his minister opted to claim. But his long-time tax adviser knew his lies were a shame. “He didn’t speak ill of a soul," his doctor told the crowd. But dozens he had smeared disagreed openly and aloud. Thus proceeded the funeral of Dirty Dick McGraw. All agreed it was a sham, praise for a man they never saw. There is a message in this tale all would do well to observe. Speak a eulogy honest and true— one the departed would deserve.