Dillema of My Being

Back to this dark, cold, vacuumed space, With no air, life, No sort of soothe to the senses You have given me. My eyes, Beg to see light, But only darkness is in view. My ears yearn to hear some sort of, Soothing word, statement, song, Anything that will tell them, That it would all be gone. My nose, blocked, By the stench of despair, And would give anything, Absolutely anything, To have a breath of fresh hopeful air. My tongue, tasting the sourness of pain, Destruction stinging its buds, With hot chilly tastes, Desperate for just a lick, A single drop, Of sweet happiness. My hands, Oh my hands, Ever clinging to the past, The hurt, the tears, Vague cruelty that life offered, To them as a gift, Back when I was young, naive and ignorant. My hands they embrace the wrong sinful desires, Holding tight to them, As you see these are the only friends, acquitances, They ever knew and had. They yearn to be free, Or atleast have a better feel, Of the cotton softness of joy, peace, love. My whole being, Mind body soul, Entangled in vines of sin, Sin that no matter how thorny, Offered a place to lay my head, A kind of peace knowing that no judgement will be faced, Promises that my soul would gladly bear consequences for. But questions, doubts, uncertainities still remain. Peaceful life, painful death after, unrest for the soul forever, Or hard life, no matter how long, then death after filled with dance and song, Total bliss for the soul????