Did You Find What You Were Looking For

Did you find what you were looking for, In the bottom of your cup? As you emptied half the liquor bottle Liquid courage filled you up Did the goodbyes bring you comfort As you readied for the end? Did you think it would lessen the grief you caused For your family, loved ones and friends? Did you find what you were searching for When you put the barrel to your head? Because the only thing I know for sure Is now my cousins dead