Destructive Heart
I realize that I’m not hopeless
Because of the people behind me
And I know that I can always turn to them…
Though it seems to get harder everyday
Because of what is embedded in my mind
And due to that, I’m mainly solo…
Some part of me calls out for assistance
But it is covered by a darker, shady exterior…
Destructive Heart! That’s what I have
And somehow it gets worse every time
I wish for some help
Yet I don’t want it
How is it that I can’t make up my mind!?
No matter how many times… I may cry on the inside!
It falls on deaf ears for I am trapped…
Now you ask, “Why don’t I seek therapy?”
And you ask, “Why is it that I feel this way?”
To tell the truth, I really don’t know fully…
Everyday feels like a struggle for my life
There are so many things that I just don’t understand
Yet something keeps pushing towards the unknown…
Destructive Heart! My mind is rather cruel
And my pride won’t let anyone get too close
I refuse to take help
Yet I still seek it
And now I’m just really confused!
Why is it that I’m clashing… Inside me within my heart!?
Because it seems like I’m not ever going to win…
I now know that I’m not hopeless
But why is it that I don’t feel that way?
Could it be that I am in fact hopeless?
I refuse to just lose the fight
Why do such problems have to plague me?
I hope that I just don’t lose to this heart of mine…
Destructive Heart! It doesn’t matter
I will always lose with this state of mind
However I’ll still fight
I won’t give up
At least, not that easily!
Destructive Heart! That’s what I have
And somehow it gets worse every time
I wish for some help
Yet I don’t want it
How is it that I can’t make up my mind!?
It would seem now… That a new fire burns in my heart!
And this time I might just triumph over all of this…
Copyright © Samuel Obazee Jr. | Year Posted 2005
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