Destructive Heart (Extended Version)

I realize that I’m not hopeless Because of the people behind me And I know that I can always turn to them… Though it seems to get harder everyday Because of what is embedded in my mind And due to that, I’m mainly solo… Some part of me calls out for assistance But it is covered by a darker, shady exterior… Destructive Heart! That’s what I have And somehow it gets worse every time I wish for some help Yet I don’t want it How is it that I can’t make up my mind!? No matter how many times… I may cry on the inside! It falls on deaf ears for I am trapped… Now you ask, “Why don’t I seek therapy?” And you ask, “Why is it that I feel this way?” To tell the truth, I really don’t know fully… Everyday feels like a struggle for my life And everyday is seems like I’m losing Now I don’t know if I would last… There are so many things that I just don’t understand Yet something keeps pushing towards the unknown… Destructive Heart! My mind is rather cruel And my pride won’t let anyone get too close I refuse to take help Yet I still seek it And now I’m just really confused! Why is it that I’m clashing… Inside me within my heart!? Because it seems like I’m not ever going to win… I now know that I’m not hopeless But why is it that I don’t feel that way? Could it be that I am in fact hopeless? I refuse to just lose the fight Because if I fully submit, then I am gone And too many loved ones really need me… Why do such problems have to plague me? I hope that I just don’t lose to this heart of mine… Destructive Heart! It doesn’t matter I will always lose with this state of mind However I’ll still fight I won’t give up At least, not that easily! Destructive Heart! That’s what I have And somehow it gets worse every time I wish for some help Yet I don’t want it How is it that I can’t make up my mind!? It would seem now… That a new fire burns in my heart! And this time I might just triumph over all of this…