Desperate Housewife

I used to be a boss in the cut-throat business world Until the day I woke and everything I ate I hurled My belly grew, my energy shrank, so I "simplified" my life Added two sons, lost bladder control, now I'm a desperate housewife! It seemed so easy at the time, no tedious nine to five Cook some meals, clean the house, keep the dears alive How could I know each'd come out cutting his own cord with a knife? One look at their red, glowing eyes and I'm a desperate housewife. I begged my husband to go and have a simple snippy-snip Did he see the way those spawn of hell caused my flesh to rip? "C'mon you baby! Get them cut! Just do it for your wife!" As he fell unconscious to the floor, Crap! I'm a desperate housewife! I attended groups for house-bound moms hoping for relief Instead they heard I don't breast feed and gave me lots of grief! "Cloth diapers and organic foods, extend our planet's life." Chugged my "water" half filled with gin, 'cuz I'm a desperate housewife! My story has a happy end, as most such tales you'll hear I started my own Mommy's group, dues cigarettes and beer. And when we meet I forget the stress with which my day is rife And for a night I feel like I'm no more a desperate housewife! 6/11/2016