Despair

Despair Silent tears flow down my face. Images of knives and blood flash before me. I think how different their lives could have been. A life without the paranoia, fear and self loathing. Hatred and rage are my best friends. My dreams are of death, mine or his. They say time heals all wounds. Unfortunately the scars are ripped open without warning. I can not find forgiveness for myself or him. Each morning I wake up and put a smile on my face. Inside I am already dead. He stole their childhood innocence and part of their soul. A mother who gave her children to a demon. He refuses to let them go. It is too late. I hide behind this fake impersonation of myself. While I wait for the next pill or cut. Insanity can not be far behind me.