Depression Or Just Plain Confusion

When i was little, i would have never dreamed at age 24 my heart would be so depressed i would choose death over breath, literally.. That my dreams would be filled with nothing but painful flashes of confusion.. Have you ever felt so alone, you stop to care? worse still, have you ever been left alone with life's cares? I awake in the middle of the night, my eyes covered in tears, it seems even sleep has walked away leaving insomnia as its substitute.. This emotion, is it depression or just plain confusion? whatever it is, this feeling chocks the life out of you, like lipo sucking the life out of your tummy.. It covers your brain in an invisible yet deadly tumor, drains hope out of your soul like a heart loosing its oxygen causing the red blood cells to chock.. This feeling drags you to isolation, convincing you that is no solution to this confusion, telling you that all this pain can only end if you put an end to your breath- John 10, 10; The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. Depression buries your joy under neath piles of iniquity and condemnation, failure and rejection. If i could, i would rather not drink from this bitter cup of melancholy but this is the same cup that reminds me of how my Father drank from the cup of death, the cup of wrath, gave away his breath so i could enjoy eternal breath.. Luke 23, 46. And as i search the scriptures, i am convinced that this depression is not of my Father, the Father who called my name before the foundations of the Earth, who knitted me in his likeness- Genesis 1, 26-27 and loves me eternally, the Sovereign yet loving and compassionate God, the Father who left his glory, sort me from the pits of iniquity and blessed me with a new love story.. Today i choose to listen to my Fathers word over depression, over confusion and i accept his solution, i receive his eternal salvation, daily.. John 3, 16 God loved us so bad, he gave his son, fought death and replaced our depression with his salvation.. Hes replaced your depression with his salvation.