Depression 9 August 77

I've wanted and waited for so long only to find now that I must still want and wait. Now knowing it would be this difficult, I remain in shock, dumbfounded if but only for a while. This most unexpected event has left me to dwell in a lumbering but real depression for which I can find no immediate cure. As summer now goes to fall, so must I change again, turning away from that brighter, hoped for future to one dimmer, closer colder, less alive, but still hopeful and someday promising. 8/9/77