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Depression

Sitting in a corner , All alone, On my own, Tryna get myself together, But dam this depression doesnt get better. I break down an cry, Half of the time, What to do with this life of mine, Am only thinking suicide. Somebody help me, How could it be , This feeling is eating me alive. Thinking how far ill go, Looking at the scars, Cause i really dont know. Cuts upon my risk, Asking myself why i do this, But then again, Its a reliever to the pain. The more i bleed, The better it seem , Its hard to explain, The feeling is strange. The deeper i go, Better the feeling u already know, Cold as ice, Am about to take my life. Tryna tell myself its enough, But no i cant stop, Cuts after cuts, Deeper and deeper they go. Yes this depression gets the best of me, Do you know what its like To feel this way , Everyday of your life, every second every minute every hour of your time. Ah got so many thoughts rushing through my head, Listening to the critisisum loud and clear, Its like a record playing over and over, Stuck on rewine its playing again and again. Am going crazy, Somebody please help me , Ah wanna be set free, From the thoughts that reside in me.

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Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 1/16/2018 12:00:00 AM

While I have a long way to go, I am starting to live again. PLEASE don't feel alone ... Soup Mail me anytime if you need to chat or vent or whatever, or you just need a shoulder to cry on - we HAVE to be there for others in the dark, because it helps us find our OWN way out, too. Blessings. :-)

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 1/15/2018 11:58:00 PM

and sharing that pain with others ... and someone ALWAYS says "I KNOW how you feel!", and that blows my mind! That others have been to those same places, and just by SAYING so I've touched their hearts! It's not the same for everyone, we all have different needs and perspectives, but I KNOW there is healing and growth and HAPPINESS for you, because if I can come back from the edge, (my heart stopped three times), ANYone can.

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 1/15/2018 11:56:00 PM

- but SO important! To get out of the darkness we have to do MUCH more than just cry for help, we have to learn to be ready to ACCEPT it, in whatEVER form it comes in, and sometimes it's hard to even recognize when that's happening and when it's not ... but others will help with that, too. Poetry has become such a tool for healing in my life, especially the dark stuff, because I'm going to those frightening places, facing those fears, turning them into something beautiful, (a poem),

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 1/15/2018 11:54:00 PM

Dear Cynthia - please don't feel alone, I have been there so many times - severe depression, neglect, abuse, assault, substance abuse, (over 30 years), OCD, anxiety, on-and-on, BUT, I'm still HERE, and it's because I finally realized I WASN'T alone, that if I just opened up and responded to those who reached out to me, all the help I needed was there. I rejected everyone and everything for so long that it became habit, and ended up pushing people away who WANTED to help ... that is SO hard to do

Becca Teagan

Date: 1/15/2018 6:29:00 AM

Aw, Cynthia, this is sad. I have a daughter who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts, it is heartbreaking, but she is doing so much better now. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, and I pray you'll get some help. Please find someone you can talk to about this, you CAN feel better again. I'm glad you're here on Poetry Soup, it is good that you're writing your feelings in poetry, and you'll find a lot of support here, but you should still seek a professional's help. ((Hugs))

Silent One

Date: 1/15/2018 4:35:00 AM

Depression is a very difficult subject and most people do not understand it, unless they have gone through it.. I hope you can talk to someone or get some help..