Demons

My entire life I've been drowning in a darkness As a little girl I begged to be loved: Nothing more nothing less I kept telling myself it will be better when I am grown But those demons stayed with me never leaving me alone I stay exhausted from this struggle with in me Fighting to hide all the pain, the fear, and the anxiety Living on self hate Music is my only escape Reclusive and withdrawn It's just safer to be alone Trying to learn to love myself Tired of pretending to be someone else The demons won't allow me to heal After 42 years they have me drowning still Sitting on my shoulder whispering in my ear Tears roll down my face at the words I hear I fall to my knees crying out please let go of me I beg the demons I scream at God just let me be They are unwilling or I'm undeserving I guess So the demons keep me down in this darkness Living on self hate Music is my only escape Reclusive and withdrawn It's just safer to be alone Trying to learn to love myself Tired of pretending to be someone else The demons won't allow me to heal After 42 years they have me drowning still Hours later I'm up off the floor wiping away my tears Staring in the mirror pushing down all the pain and fears Hiding it all I Put on my makeup and I walk out the door So no one will be able to tell I was just curled up crying on the floor Friends and family are clueless of the war with in They've never been on this battlefield and don't understand Living on self hate Music is my only escape Reclusive and withdrawn It's just safer to be alone Trying to learn to love myself Tired of pretending to be someone else The demons won't allow me to heal After 42 years they have me drowning still