Deep Seated and Connected

Deep seated and connected Deep seated and connected, my collection plate feels naked, been adjacent to ills and thrills of my spills, causing heartache. My thoughts go round and round like the earth rotates, I have expectations that haven’t come to pass, I had let go of meditating on the pass mishaps and just move forward best that I could, still trying. All awhile have to also let go of the few times I saw my life flash by, and never again contemplate suicide because I have no right to take my own life from the one who created this experience for me – because it’s a blessing either way it goes. Either way it goes… Sometimes I go backwards looking out window blinds waiting for my dad to show up, to save me, who knew that he needed to be saved too? Who knew that the things you go through builds character and creates, molding into shape to make your backbone stronger, I longer and hungered for things that were not for me to change, but my reactions to the chaos was more relevant for my future than I initially understood, but it’s all good. Deep seated and connected, my collection plate feels naked, been adjacent to ills and thrills of my spills, causing heartache. Remembering being in the car with nowhere to go, no destination, riding around hoping to look to others like I was on my way to somewhere great, the lies we create to hide the things we despise. In the parking of a grocery store, watching the rain compile against my window pain, while trying to situate myself in a comfortable state to sleep the night, lock the car doors hope the boxes squeezed in this tiny space can detour anyone who walks by…I was thankful for the rain…it was right on time didn’t have to reach my tear duct eyes. My soul was in disarray. Trials and tribulations are inevitable, the test that we face at times can seem unbearable, but in due time the light will too shine, and all the darkness will become the catalyst that make your resilience for life circumstances and situations easier to endure, I explore the peace that comes without cost, without boast, just the inner voice that says stay with me, walk with me, and don’t give up. I got you, I got you… Stay Deep seated and connected. ©StephanieGutierrez2015