Decisions

So many nights not sleeping a wink wishing I could for an hour not feel the pain. Everything hurts no one understands, you're gonna be ok you'll be fine, it's all in your head. Why am I sad? is it because no one hears? Nobody understands the pain "you're strong get over it". Beginning to doubt, no longer believe, my faith is shattered. When I fell no one took my hand. Why do I need to go on? I'm left here all alone. All I want is to be able to just close my eyes, feel no pain. My eyes force themselves open try to find the light instead of light all it sees are bright flames. Waves of destruction, thought of death. No one was there no one cares if I'm here or not. Once, twice, three times, tried to burn it down. Each and everytime an unexpected angel saved my life. It's not their name or their motive, it was the fact that though still in darkness finally someone cared. Tough choices I'll have to lose something, if I'm to gain what will make life, not as it was but better. Eyes wide open, give of my heart, body and soul,. It's all become clear, life's lessons are always hard earned. I've paid my dues, earned my wisdom, The true power of life is in the surrender and not control. Angels in disguise are still meant for what they are... A sign from the universe I'm still here please don't quit. One life saved one positive choice. Like dominos of life. Each one connects and creates life. I thank God for all I have for all my learned. I choose life I choose now I will never again say I'm done.