December

They say it’s not my fault. But I know I should’ve known. I should’ve known About your pain. My own disdain For breaking silence Cost me years We could've had ahead. We saw each other Like before. But your cheeky little smile Wasn’t there anymore. We were in the same room But worlds apart, And my unsaid words Might have played a part. I thought I’d give it time And you’d come around. You were so smart... Methodical in movement. Tactical in speech. You always said the right words At the right time. I wish I could do that. I wish I had more time. One day you didn’t show. I waited on the bridge, Doodling in the snow. Frozen in time. I wasn’t angry, Sad, or happy. I wasn’t thinking. I was waiting. Then I felt empty. Cold and scared. With an unsteady pace I ran to your place, Puffing cold air, Wiping my face. I opened the door. And there you were. Motionless. Flat on the floor. Black traces of tears and makeup. Almost completely dry. They say it’s not my fault. But I know I should’ve known.