Deceit My Sin

What I've become I really despise  My life compiled of deceit & lies  Empty words lacking truth A deceptive nature stemmed from youth No feelings of guilt nor remorse felt Lying with ease not a moment dwelt Exceptionally tangled web weaved Ensuring stories are concise and believed People see my potential which Will inevitably die I will be the one in which all could rely  There's no spark left; the excitement’s gone  The first felt enthusiasm decreased to none The more trust I obtain, the less praise I receive  I battle the instincts that want to deceive Trust is earned and once this is reached ;  that gained trust will soon be breached expectations not met; excused by deceit  I long for my recreational retreat. I could say I am sorry but it is always lie I cant be arsed anymore, why should I try