Death Wish

The nauseated feeling from knowing that I have thoughts to take my own life. Suicide not only being a feeling, a second thought, but a compromise. Now sick to my stomach with disbelief, how I imagine at the end of my life-the painful grief. And my funeral, what church would take me? The sinner who took her own life, in my casket the devil might as well be. And yet the thought constantly crosses my mind: Why not die? Death is simply the beginning of life. Although life is well and sometimes I'm happy. I can't help but wonder how death would be. People always say "at least their in a better place." So is death better than life? In death can I go my own pace? Once again nauseated with the thought of taking my own life. Myself I can no longer love, me I can only despise!!!