Dear God

I look into the sky every night, to find some meaning of my life. I know who I am, but what is my purpose here, all my life it has been one struggle after another. Never have I wanted so much to find God and ask what am I here to do now? Why is my life out of control? Why am I here? At 23 years old I need God more than ever I feel like I am losing my mind my self control the little control that I have. I pray that God help me, guide me in the right path and show me happiness I need him more than ever I look but I still can’t see. Every night I look up into the sky to see a sign but nothing, but the big full moon and the lovely bright stars. I’m looking, but still I can’t see, maybe what I’m looking for is right in front of me. Maybe I need to search under a rock or try to move a mountain than and only than I will find what I seek. But why do I feel like I ’m looking for answers that no one can give. I have so many questions but yet I do not know where to start, what will happen tomorrow for me, for us? Why do so many suffer? Why am I suffering? The biggest question of all why don’t God answer me? It is not like I’m asking for silver and gold, or something hard like world peace. I just want happiness for all especially my son. Well that is all for today just thinking out loud again.